redha

bismillahhirahmanirrahim.

kul 9.50 am, 18 januari 2010 the result wether i cud fly or not, keluar. i am so nervous right now. like sangat berdebar2. i feel like crying. i feel like screaming. im so scared. but i want to prepare myself if bad news comes. Ya Allah, please help me. i hope im able to go to japan this march, buat degree kat nagoya kougyou daigaku. im so scared. i want to cry but tears just wont come out.

harapan mama, babah, kakak, my cuzins, my aunts, uncles, teachers kat sekolah rendah, menengah, AAJ sume... sangat takut utk kecewakan all of them. whatever results, ili redha je. coz i know Allah knows what's the best for me. but to make all of those people who have been supporting me 200% frust, kecewa, sedih and all... i dont even think that i could bare it.

mintaklah dijauhkan. tapi if tak dapat la pegi jepun ni, i wont cry because i am sad that 2 tahun usaha sume tu, but i will be sad and upset with myself because dah kecewakan ramai orang yang da bagi harapan sume. termasuklah mak2 of my frens and also jiran2.

tadi mmg best, ada bowling taikai G2, dgn mori sensei, kubota sensei, jinushi sensei and fujita sensei. tapi.... kerisauan ni...

jinushi sensei dari semalam lagi time soubetsukai tu dah muka happy. die kata semalam, "ima san wa saigo made yoku ganbatteimashita ne." gile buat ak rasa cam dapat je gi jepun.
nthen, tadi pn, siap tanya daigaku ak katne, reti masak tak? mm.. kene blaja masak ni, nthen nnt kat nihon, da buat degree, buat la master skali if nak jadi race engineer. macam mana ni???!!

mama da belikan video camera for me so blh r record mcm2 before gi jepun. tapi... if tak dapat??

nazmi da selamat dah. dah confem leh gi new zealand. me? blaja kat AAJ have made me feel that i am the stupidest student here. rasa cam tak sanggup je. sangat tak tenang.

separuh rasa cam dapat. separuh rasa cam "ili, prepare urself if tak dapat."

moga Allah berikan la what i wanted. but if tak dapat, its okay. maybe tak sesuai kot gi jepun. ada la tu benda yang tak baek for me there. Allah knows what is the best for me.

i dont know why but somehow rasa tak sedap hati.